Toy Sodliers

The song "Toy Soldiers" from Martika reminds me of when I was a little girl. I was only 4 or 5 years old living in Chandler, Oklahoma with my mom. If I remember right, I was at a local swimming pool. I remember this little boy and I were chasing each other laughing. I remember jumping in the pool and hearing this song play when I got up out of the water. I got out and just listened to the song!! lol And then its a blur! Not sure sure how I got home or with who but I remember another event around the same time. I remember seeing my mother sitting on the couch with I think a jami tshirt deal. She was drinking beer and being silly. We were playing on the piano and dancing around listening to my headphones with music. So, all was well but then my mom wanted to go to the bar, which was called the V.F.W. it is where worked at too. She thought I was mature enough to leave me at home by myself! In a 2 story white county house (seriously). My bedroom was up these steep stairs. It was cool though and I had a little window that I would climb out onto the roof and sit there. The night she left though, it was storming. Loud thunders, big lightening, pouring rain, and crazy wind. I was so scared. Somehow I had a phone and a number to where she was at, so I called. Crying and screaming for my mommy to please come home. I am not sure when she actually came home. Everything is a blur after the call. But I know waking up in my room I got pieces of paper that I wrote in big letters " I WANT TO GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA" (that is where my grandma took care of me). Anyway, I would throw the notes down a vent hole that would drop downstairs in living room flying at my mom. She was upset and I think yelling at me to knock it off. But I kept it up. Over and over again. Then started screaming it. Well, the next day my mom's boyfriend bought me a ticket (so he says) back to California. I was flying at 4 years old when the legal age was 5 years to fly without an adult. My age was tampered with for that event! So, when I got home my grandma "Kitty" was a little bit of a wreck! My hair was covered in lice bad!!!! My grandma was so pissed and it was a lot of work. To get rid of it all. But, my grandma was the best. She was my mom, my grandma, my friend. She never up on me and she always was there to help. She wanted only to see me happy and well taken care of. I did not see or hear from my mother again till I was 15 (almost 16) years old. From a letter that was sent to my Grandma's house. I was living in Oregon at the time running the streets or should I say running away. Memories! I don't spend enough time with them! This is a lot about my childhood memories. I have a lot more! I will be adding this into a blog as well as others. This journey is going to be tough but I know with God, anything is possible. And for those that I am confusing; time tells all! Until next time......


A memory wrote by Kasi Lynn Clausen on the 13th day of January! :  )-