My Newlife & Endless Journey: Douglas Streets Defeats

My Newlife & Endless Journey: Douglas Streets Defeats: Douglas Streets Defeats Douglas County can’t you see, Everywhere there is misery. Look around and see the sign, They’re everywhere...

Douglas Streets Defeats

Douglas Street's Defeats

Douglas County, can’t you see,

Everywhere there is misery.

Look around and see the sign,

They’re everywhere, in every crime.

A word is written upon a wall,

Magic comes and defeats us all.

With blindness and a lack of caring hearts,

                        They are dying in the streets of darks.

The people are suffering because of your lack of education,

And the youth are left dealing with the situation.

Are we to keep ignoring the facts?

It is time to deal with the broken cracks.

On a note to discover the truth of what I see,

We are a community divided and unaware of what could be.

So, as you go along your busy day,

Remember these words and everything I have had to say.

Written By: Kasi Lynn Clausen

June 18, 2012

Under the Bridge! 

Well, a few weeks ago I made a post on my Facebook page posting this picture and then I said I would write a blog about the story behind it! This is a bit rough to do because I do not want to hurt anyone, but the truth and the stories that I have can show others what I have truly been through and then can hopefully help others. 

A part of my past has to do with being a runaway. The first time I ran away from home I was 5 years old living in a trailer in Oklahoma with my mother and her boyfriend. It was not the best of situations and I was mad! So, I packed a suitcase and threw it out the window, then jumped out and started walking! My mother watched from the front door pretty much laughing and waiting to see how long it took me to turn around and come home. It took some time but eventually I was returned to her! 

Then at the age of 12 I really started to runaway all the time. I was running from my fathers house because he was very abusive both verbally and physically. I hate to write this because he is a different man now, but this is what I went through and I have the right to talk about it. I always defended him and never wanted him hurt or in trouble for the things that he did to me. 

Anyway, for this specific event, I had ran away after an altercation. I had skipped school that day and heard that my dad found out and he was out looking for me with my older brother. While I was walking the streets heading to my destination I was constantly looking over my shoulders for him, my brother, and the cops. My father at the time had a tan lifted jeep and I spotted it from about 1/2 mile away. At this time I was under this bridge which is right by the Roseburg High School. I was a good runner but wasn't sure which direction to go into. So, I looked up underneath the bridge and seen a small area that I could possibly hide in. I then ran as fast as I could to the top, went as close to the back as I could, and laid  down as flat as I could get myself too. I had little time to book it up that and hide all in hopes that he didn't see me as well. I remember my heart was pumping so hard and I was so scared. If I was found, I would of been hurt and bad. I laid there under that bridge for over an hour before I came out and noticed the coast was clear. I then ran down it and straight to Mill street where my best friend and her mom lived. I was then safe until the next time! 

So, as I said, I would write a blog telling that story! There are many more to go and I will as the time and emotions allow! 

Thank you everyone for your patience and understanding. Coming forward with my past is not easy. I have been through a lot and been hurt a lot. I have kept all my stories to myself for the most part. I now feel that it is time to share about my life and what I have been through only to hope that I can help others and show them that I have been there. 

Until Next Time..........

I'M FREE! 

Toy Sodliers

The song "Toy Soldiers" from Martika reminds me of when I was a little girl. I was only 4 or 5 years old living in Chandler, Oklahoma with my mom. If I remember right, I was at a local swimming pool. I remember this little boy and I were chasing each other laughing. I remember jumping in the pool and hearing this song play when I got up out of the water. I got out and just listened to the song!! lol And then its a blur! Not sure sure how I got home or with who but I remember another event around the same time. I remember seeing my mother sitting on the couch with I think a jami tshirt deal. She was drinking beer and being silly. We were playing on the piano and dancing around listening to my headphones with music. So, all was well but then my mom wanted to go to the bar, which was called the V.F.W. it is where worked at too. She thought I was mature enough to leave me at home by myself! In a 2 story white county house (seriously). My bedroom was up these steep stairs. It was cool though and I had a little window that I would climb out onto the roof and sit there. The night she left though, it was storming. Loud thunders, big lightening, pouring rain, and crazy wind. I was so scared. Somehow I had a phone and a number to where she was at, so I called. Crying and screaming for my mommy to please come home. I am not sure when she actually came home. Everything is a blur after the call. But I know waking up in my room I got pieces of paper that I wrote in big letters " I WANT TO GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA" (that is where my grandma took care of me). Anyway, I would throw the notes down a vent hole that would drop downstairs in living room flying at my mom. She was upset and I think yelling at me to knock it off. But I kept it up. Over and over again. Then started screaming it. Well, the next day my mom's boyfriend bought me a ticket (so he says) back to California. I was flying at 4 years old when the legal age was 5 years to fly without an adult. My age was tampered with for that event! So, when I got home my grandma "Kitty" was a little bit of a wreck! My hair was covered in lice bad!!!! My grandma was so pissed and it was a lot of work. To get rid of it all. But, my grandma was the best. She was my mom, my grandma, my friend. She never up on me and she always was there to help. She wanted only to see me happy and well taken care of. I did not see or hear from my mother again till I was 15 (almost 16) years old. From a letter that was sent to my Grandma's house. I was living in Oregon at the time running the streets or should I say running away. Memories! I don't spend enough time with them! This is a lot about my childhood memories. I have a lot more! I will be adding this into a blog as well as others. This journey is going to be tough but I know with God, anything is possible. And for those that I am confusing; time tells all! Until next time......


A memory wrote by Kasi Lynn Clausen on the 13th day of January! :  )-